<3

One more day. If it wasn’t hard enough before, now it’s more than I can carry on.
Life gives me options, and I just can’t choose. Always in the line between mind and heart, clarity and confusion, hope and death. And doesn’t matter which way I choose, it always seems so wrong. It feels like I don’t belong to my own life.
Or I don’t even know what to do with it.
I’ve been facing myself and I realized I am a self-destroyer. Full of compassion with the world, I can't even see somebody hurt, but I love to hurt myself, love to make me incomplete, sad, mad, bad. Life’s not easy and I like to make it harder, it seems.
Some days ago I took the guilty part of me off and started to see things without any blame or fault. Releasing  my heart to run free, once, at least.
Twice, if we’re very clear.
But it feels better now, like  had learned how to not let myself fall. Or no. Because I’m falling.
Dearly beloved, if this love only exists in my dreams, don’t wake me up.